The Night Clubs & dJ's

Here are 10 ways a DJ can dodge having to play a request without resorting to a fist fight. These are tried and tested excuses from out in the field and Beatportal has tried every one (maybe).

No DJ wants to be seen as a jukebox

1. “I’m just the warm up”

The golden answer to any request from a complainer is “I’m just the warm up DJ”. It’s a blanket answer that can be used for any request, be it hip hop or classical music.

The reply suggests that you’re deliberately playing records they don’t want to hear, so that the DJ after you can come on and play what they really want. That should keep them away from the DJ booth for a bit. But the real beauty of the reply is that it keeps the complainer in the club listening to your set, because they will be waiting around for the next DJ. No one likes an empty dancefloor, even if it’s just full of whiners.

2. “How long have you been here? I played it just before you arrived.”

When asked for a particular style of track, immediately reply with “How long have you been here?” Then, regardless of their response say, “damn, I’m sorry I played that track or that sound just before you got here.”

Your answer shifts the guilt back onto the complainer who will think they should have come to the club sooner, and the wonderful thing about that is that the next time they’ll be the first through the door. Then you’ll be really screwed.

3. “The guy after me plays that.”

An alternative on the “I’m just the warm up” excuse, except this one can be used to screw over the next DJ quite nicely. Afterall, a little rivalry is healthy for the scene.

You could even take it further and ask the whiner to write down their requests onto a piece of paper which you swear you will pass onto the next DJ. Then when changeover happens, point at the next DJ whilst winking at the whiner and then run home before the fireworks begin.

Another excuse that uses ‘time stamping’ to hoodwink the complainer into staying for your entire set is to count how many tracks you will need to finish your set and then say, “After X tracks, I’ll play it.” (Thanks fballoni!).

4. “The manager won’t let me.”

Shifting blame elsewhere is an old schoolboy trick, and if you say the manager won’t let you play whatever the complainer wants that should satisfy them enough to leave you alone.

You could even be really sympathetic and say “Yeah I know, I have the new Beyonce and everything, but the guy is such an asshole he only wants this underground techno shit.”

Look out for the ones that have a big sense of entitlement though, as they might be savvy enough to go straight to the manager to complain and then you’ll be forced by the venue to play Beyonce’s new one and you’ll have to smile through gritted teeth pretending that you’re really happy to do so...